


Her Plight

by AlphinaudFTW



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Been contemplating posting it, Comforting, Decided it'd be for the best, F/M, Fluff, I added a prerequisite, I think angst, I'll write it someday, I'm Sorry, I'm not writing it in this story though, Italicizations are life and you can rip them from my cold dead hands, Sorry to disappoint, That was a really long tag, The story looked bigger in my document ;-;, There's still more to chapter 1, You can probably surmise what my final decision was, You know what I'm gonna stop procrastinating by writing absurd tags by actually posting it, i wrote this yesterday, the new chapter is actually the first one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-12-24 05:42:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21094331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphinaudFTW/pseuds/AlphinaudFTW
Summary: After the events of the Vault, Alphinaud finds that his gut refuses to allow him a night's respite, so he decides to take a walk in the Pillars to chill him up a bit.





	1. Sorrow of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this yesterday, then had a whole debate with myself of whether or not I should post it. You can probably guess which side won.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A memory of Saria's past, in which she'd wished it wasn't brought to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to include this so the context made more sense. The worst part? There's STILL more, and I don't think I have the capacity to write the rest of it...in *this* story, at least. Someday, I'll bring it to light.
> 
> ...That was unintentional.

An irritated grunt had escaped the little girl's lips as she strained herself to reach farther. "Just a little bit closer..." she exclaimed to herself, attempting to grasp the grimoire that was intentionally placed out of her reach.

"Keep that up and you're sure to exhaust yourself." She flinched upon hearing the teasing tone that she knew all too well. She lowered her hand, relaxing herself as her gaze would lower to the wooden floor. "...Noire." The words were like a whimper from a guilty puppy. She turned to face her older sibling, only to find that her brother, Shiro, was also there.

"You _know_ mom took your grimoire away for a reason, Saria!" Noire scolded, watching Saria's ears droop. Her tail wrapped around her leg, and Noire felt a little sorry for her. "I...know. It's j-just-" Saria would attempt to justify her actions, only for their oldest sibling to shake his head. "You work too hard to prove yourself." In response, Saria shifted, holding her hands behind her back.

Noire nodded in agreement. "Y-Yeah! Take it easy sometime. Besides, it's too late to practice arcanima!" Noire wagged a finger, grinning at her sister. Saria watched her siblings curiously, before a sigh of defeat ultimately escaped her lips as she eased away from the counter. "Okay, okay!" she pouted as her siblings smiled and escorted her to her room.

"There'll be plenty of time to get things done, so don't exhaust yourself!" Noire chirped as Saria opened the door to her room. Shiro would offer a nod. "You can't prove yourself to everyone." They were the last words she had heard as she closed the door to her room...

Then, everything looked different. Her perspective had changed, and she was...taller. The room held a sense of dread and wasn't as vibrant as she remembered. There was a small ringing in her ears that reminded her of sobbing, but the room was dead silent. Slowly, she turned her head and found herself staring into a mirror. Her short black hair was a mess and her skin was more pale than it was a moment ago. Her crimson eyes were tired and weary, and her whole body drooped upon seeing the mirror.

She was older. She shook her head at the mirror, but more specifically, the figure garbed in a white nightgown. Nothing was on her mind, nor could she actually hear her own thoughts. Nevertheless, words would leave her lips before she could process them. "Oh, Saria..." She sighed, mimicking the scolding tone Noire had used on her. "That was ten _years_ ago."

She could remember it _quite_ vividly, how she had forgotten something in the house. Her family was finally moving from the quiet little nook it rested in, and they were set to leave today. She was fortunate enough that her mother had allowed her to go back and grab something. After all, no one was around, and the carriage would be a short dirt-walk path away...

* * *

She raced to the cottage, searching high and low for her most valued possession. How she had forgotten it? She wasn't really certain. She simply recalled that her gut told her to do something else before she could pick up the grimoire she had received for her 6th birthday. She had found it on the counter, but she could reach it this time. The moment the grimoire was snug in her hands, she heard a loud _**crash**_ in the distance, followed by short-lived screams. 

It was as if she was cemented into the ground. Her eyes widened as her heart began to race, the sense of dread looming over her, as if she would be covered in a blanket and held down. She forced herself to turn, though her steps were heavy and she struggled to even move. Thoughts filled her head since she knew the area well enough. She reached the door, her heartbeat pounding in her head as a rush of adrenaline made her shoot out of the door like a _bullet_, grimoire clutched in her hands tightly.

She wished she hadn't left the house. Dust was scattered in the air, sending her sneezing and wheezing as she attempted to wave it away. She looked hard, only to find the carriage was utterly destroyed. Wooden pieces, as well as other bits of debris from their belongings were strewn about, though ultimately weighed down by heavy, jagged rocks. She noted that they looked sharp enough to cut her hand if she merely leaned on it.

Her rush of adrenaline had dissipated, being replaced by a sense of fear. She dragged her feet slowly through the dirt, uttering the names of her family members in the hopes of some sort of response. She was met with a dreadful silence, and it wasn't until she nearly grazed one of the large rocks that she looked down. She heard a small splash, as if she had stepped into a puddle, prompting her to look down.

Her eyes widened and she began choking on her breath as she threw herself back, landing roughly onto the dirt. "_Red_..." She choked out. "It's _r-red!_" The words lunged from her throat as a cry. It was as if all of her hopes and dreams were crushed in the blink of an eye. She had stepped into a pool of blood, and noticed the familiar, petite hand of her older sister. 

Reality came _crashing_ down on her, even as she frantically pleaded for it all to be an awful nightmare as she pinched herself, screaming desperately for some sort of verification that she wasn't alone. In her frenzy, she had lost hold of her grimoire, which had sparked when it hit the ground, pages left wide open. She breathed frantically, covering her mouth with her hands as she cried into it, though she also tried to keep herself from vomiting. 

"_Alone_." The word was reoccurring in her mind. "You're _alone_."

It was as if she was taunting herself, though she didn't comprehend why. As a matter of fact, she _wouldn't_, not for awhile, anyway. It wasn't until she felt warmth on her arm that she stopped screaming. She trembled, turning her gaze to the source of the tongue licking her in an attempt to comfort her. Filling her gaze was a bright, glowing little creature. A red triangle rested on the blue familiar's forehead, as a darker blue hue would be the color of the stripe leading down it's back and separating into its' three tails. She gazed into its' black, beady eyes as it set a paw on her in awe. 

"Emerald Carbuncle..?" She murmured, taking the familiar into her arms. She turned her gaze over to the grimoire, seeing the ink on the patterns glowing ever so slightly. With a shaky hand, she stroked the familiar's back in an attempt to distract herself from the horrific sight before her. The tears would escape her, but the carbuncle was oddly comforting.

However, she didn't realize that unconsciously, she would begin to shield herself from people. She felt uneasy when she spoke, as she was afraid she would begin to break down. Most of all, she was afraid that if she let someone in, they would be torn away, leaving her a mess again. Such was the premise that the walls around her heart would be built as she would begin to throw herself into adventuring and studying other arts.

Most of this is because she wanted to prove herself. You could even say she wanted to fulfill her siblings' dreams of doing different things...

However, deep down, Saria wanted to be useful enough that she wouldn't be **_alone_**.

* * *

She jolted upon feeling a gentle touch on her arm. Her eyes had grown watery and a rebellious tear had drifted down her cheek. A sharp gasp escaped her, as if she were scared. She turned her head, fearing she would see that dreaded image of herself in the mirror with the white nightgown again. That had always been her signal that she was in some sort of dream. Alas, that was not the case. She wasn't even in the correct room, nor did she face herself to the left where the mirror always was.

The room was brighter and more lively. She turned to the right, her eyes meeting the worried gaze of Alphinaud. It was then that she realized she had drifted off again, a scowl on her features, which had likely scared her companion. 

"A-Ah," he took his hand away, a bit startled. "M-My apologies, Saria..." Her gaze softened as she watched that fretful expression of his come into play. She even _smiled_, shaking her head in an attempt to clear his concerns. "N-No, you didn't do anything..." she spoke softly, and the tone reminded her of the way she had once spoken her sister's name with guilt. It was all she could do to prevent herself from wincing.

She turned her gaze forward, that wistful look in her eyes once more as she wordlessly forced herself along. Alphinaud's gaze would linger upon her, a sigh of guilt escaping his lips as Tataru slowly approached him. "I don't think she's angry with you, Alphinaud." The Lalafellin woman had spoken reassuringly, watching the Elezen's gaze turn to the ground. "But-" 

"_But_, she held no disdain for you after that mess, now did she?" Tataru placed her hands on her hips, practically scolding the boy. He averted his gaze, as if he were embarrassed.

In reality, she had said it in an attempt to keep him from falling into his state of despair again. What Tataru _didn't_ know was the matter of truth to her words. Saria harbored no sort of disdain or resentment for Alphinaud, and wasn't going to. Saria had been quick to leave because she was afraid of how fast her heart began to beat at the sight of him fretting over her, a factor that had been happening a lot more since...Well, she'd rather not say.

Saria was perturbed by the fact that despite her ten years of carefully building the walls around her heart to protect herself, Alphinaud had managed to get through. _Perhaps_ it would all come crashing down soon enough.

_Soon enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so cruel


	2. Brought to Light

He hadn't expected _this._ He awoke with a jolt, though upon further glance upon the darkened room, nothing out of the ordinary was to be seen. There had been a large pressure on his chest that practically tugged at him, begging him to wake up, so there he was. He tried to lay back down and return to his slumber for the busy day ahead of the Scions, but the pressure came back almost immediately. An irritated sigh escaped the boy's lips as he brushed the sheets aside, steadying himself on the cold floor. He squinted in the dark, as if trying to focus his vision, though he quickly realized the absurdity of his fatigued action. Instead, he opted to stretching, and then quietly pacing over to the curtains of the large window settled in the room. Not much light made it past, though it was still night.

He let the curtain drift back to a close, darkening the red wallpaper as he trudged past a chair that he had normally sat in to read or think. With quiet and cautious steps, he searched for his normal attire, deeming that the cold from the outdoors would make him return indoors and fall asleep under the warming embrace of his blankets. At last, he found his attire, bending ever so slightly to pick it up, though long, silver hair rolled down his shoulder and stood in the way, to which he irritably flicked away. "Ah, that's right..." He sighed to himself in a quiet whisper, glancing over to the noticeable silver clasp that remained within the boundaries of a blue ribbon. "Twould seem there is more to do..."

* * *

Alphinaud winced slightly as he opened the front door to the Fortemps Manor. The chilling breeze poured in, so he quickly retreated outdoors into its' embrace, closing the door behind him. At the very least, the attire that Tataru had gifted him helped to shield him from the cold _far_ better than his old one did. He could feel his braid swinging with the wind, as some aspects of his coat followed. Quietly, he took a few steps out onto the cold streets of the Pillar. Overhead, the stars glistened without a heed to their snowy counterparts...which rested gently on his shoulders and hair. He flicked the snowflakes away, before ultimately giving up. He stepped forward a few paces more, proffering a glance to his left and right as he inwardly decided where to go. Alas, that pressure built up again like an angry coeurl that pounced at him whenever he looked to his right. With a purse of his lips, he took the first step to the left, proceeding towards where he wagered would be the stairs.

  
The snow coming down seemed to get heavier with every few paces he took. He squinted again, his lips parted slightly as he shielded his eyes with his gloved hands. He was shaking slightly, though it wasn't until he chanced to catch a glimpse of a familiar shade of red resting on a platform by the stairs in the Last Vigil. He only noticed it because it was a contrast to the dull colors of Ishgard's architecture, though he'd never say such a thing. He lowered his arm slightly, squinting some more as he took smaller steps. The snow seemed to be letting up now, though it was bit by bit. His curiosity was peaked, and if he dared turn away that gut-feeling ate at him once more, so he deduced that he didn't have much of a choice. As he approached, he could make out the familiar red coat that Saria had adorned during their time in Idyllshire. It was then that he could make out the figure of the familiar Keeper of the Moon.

  
He watched the back of her head, eyes grazing over her short, wavy black hair as he searched for her crimson eyes. Gods, the mere thought made his heart flutter, but that could wait..._hopefully. _As he got closer, her highlights were slightly more visible, though instead his eyes glanced over at her pale face, though the moon gave her an exhilerating glow. He sucked in his breath as he chanced to see her eyes, so fixated on the moon, though they shined like she was on the verge of tears. His brow furrowed as his lips parted. He moved to place a hand on her shoulder, or make some sort of sound, though he refrained from doing so. He feared that any movement or sound he created would _shatter_ her.

  
"...Why?" She whimpered, prompting Alphinaud to freeze at something other than the current weather. Her hands were shaking as her lower lip quivered, drawing Alphinaud's gaze towards it. She bit on it gently, turning towards him as she caught his gaze with her own. "...Why do they all _die?_" A tear rebelliously rolled down her cheek, her eyes devoid of anything other than sorrow. He dared not utter a word, though he didn't quite understand. Saria was understandably upset that Haurchefant had passed - and would be whether he had sacrificed himself or not - but he didn't understand what she meant by _all. _Cautiously, he lowered himself down right next to her, her gaze following him as he did so. It seemed that she could see the confusion on his face, and she turned her head away, her lips parted and quivering. "I...I'm sorry." She murmured, shaking her head as another tear made its' way down her face. Alphinaud gently grasped her trembling fist, giving it a squeeze in response. She tensed upon his touch, though she soon relaxed.

  
"...All of them..." She shuddered again, her voice a sense of fear that he had never once heard or seen from her before. In truth, it caught him completely unawares. "All of them?" He muttered, to which she gave a shaky nod in response. "They...mother...father..." At this, Alphinaud's gaze softened. This was the first she had ever spoken of her family in any way, though he surmised _why_ rather quickly. Her shoulders slumped, but she strained to look at him, prompting his expression to grow more worried. "Mother, father, my two older siblings...and Haurchefant." She spoke quietly, afraid as she averted her gaze from Alphinaud.

  
"...When I was younger, I forgot my grimoire when we were packing a carriage to move. Mother let me go and fetch it, and when I acquired it, I heard a loud crash and the screams of my older brother and sister..." She trembled a bit more, her eyes glistening as a few more tears escaped. Alphinaud leaned in a little closer, though he was left entirely speechless. "I...I dashed out there with my grimoire...and..." She tensed up, her fists tightening as she seemed to bite down on her lip harder. Alphinaud's eyes widened as it drew a bit of blood, and he grasped at her shoulders in a desperation. However, she practically threw herself into his arms, the tears finally breaking through as she broke down sobbing.

  
"The carriage was torn to pieces. A landslide had slammed into all of them...I could see my sister's arm from under all of the debris." She choked, burying her face into his neck as she pressed against him. He sat there, utterly wordless as he rested his chin on her head, wrapping an arm around her waist as the other moved to caress her back. Her tail flicked until it eventually curled around his leg. "I...I didn't know what to do! There was dust and I tripped, I was crying and shivering until I felt Emerald at my side. The rest is all a blur, but I was completely powerless!" She grasped his shoulders tighter, continuing to sob as he continued to stroke her back in a comforting manner. "I don't remember anything after that...I just...remember waking up on that ship, headed to Limsa Lominsa..." She shuddered, a warm breath escaping her lips and pressing into his neck. His own breath hitched, though all he did was allow her to lean on him more.

  
"...I didn't want...I wanted to be able to do something, _anything,_ no matter the situation..." A hum escaped Alphinaud's lips to signal to her that he understood what she meant. Well, now he knew why she strived to be a jack of all trades, though at what cost?

  
She trembled a little more, slowly relaxing as time went on. She seemed to be calming down in their silence as he stroked her back, his light breaths brushing against her ears. "...After our time in the coils...I grew hopeful..." He blinked, snapping out of his small daze as a quick breath alerted her. "I...seeing..." The words clumped in her throat, to which she shook her head slightly so as to not disturb him. "...I realized I could still let go of the past..." His lips parted slightly as he gazed at her thoughtfully. "What do you mean by that?" He asked softly, holding his breath as she pressed against him a little more - shifting. "...It's small, but...Noire...she used to play with my hair all of the time..." Alphinaud thought for a moment, before sliding the hand wrapped around her waist up to her hair. The gears were turning in his head, and he registered Noire as her older sister. "I wanted so desperately for her to do that again, even if it wasn't really..._me_, in a sense..." He moved his hand to her cheek, caressing it with just his fingertips as she shivered, a small gasp escaping her lips. Even so, she pressed her cheek into his hand.

  
"I...Forgive me, Saria. I was so caught up in how beautiful you looked with the change of hairstyle when you first presented it to me and Tataru in Camp Dragonhead that I...had never taken the time to think about the meaning behind such a change..." He murmured into her ear softly, which flickered. He could feel his face turn a slight shade of red, though hers did to match. However, he opted to ignore it, inwardly cursing himself for not watching his tongue. She seemed to relax after processing his words for a few moments. "I...Er, um...No, you wouldn't have known..." A guilty sigh escaped her lips as she lifted her head up to gaze into his eyes. Alas, he shook his head. "I...I don't know where to start, really..." he began, a frustrated expression on his face. "I don't fully understand the trauma you went through, nor do I think I will, but I..." His thumb moved to caress her cheek, her gaze softening.

  
"I...If you would do _me_\- er, _us_, the honor...we'll never be a replacement, but I would like to think that you would consider the Scions a family..." She seemed to tear up a little more, and Alphinaud's face changed to fear in the blink of an eye, worried he had overstepped his boundaries. Quietly, he prayed that she hadn't heard the last part he murmured. Alas, that was not the case. "Alphinaud..." She smiled through her tears as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "The Scions _are_ my family...and so are _you._" He blushed slightly at the statement, though he could see that he wasn't alone. She started to blink her tears away, until Alphinaud began wiping them away. She proffered a small giggle in response, before resting against his chest with closed eyes. For the first time that night, she seemed relatively peaceful, though it wouldn't last for long.

  
Silence had passed, and the sun was starting to rise. It was then that Saria finally sat back up to stretch. She turned her gaze towards the rising sun, Alphinaud's following. The view was certainly mesmerizing, and the small smile on Saria's face at the sight offered Alphinaud a sense of peace. She looked wonderful in the light, though his face flushed and he returned his gaze to the sun from his own embarrassment.

  
"Alphinaud." He blinked, turning his gaze back to Saria to find her staring him dead in the eyes with that determination of hers that seemed as if it had been swept away in the wind earlier. It garnered a sense of relief, at least. "Saria?" He responded in a surprised tone, watching her tail flick. She eased back a bit, as her expression softened from his startle. "It's a rare occasion for certain, but might I ask a favor of you?" She smiled slightly as Alphinaud chuckled, as she was technically correct. "Of course, Saria." _Anything for you. _His lips parted as he gazed at her in surprise from the words that left her lips. _"Will you help me be **myself?**"_ She asked with determination, yet it was so sudden that it caught him off-guard. "I...I want to be more vocal, I mean. I was more...cheerful and..." She sighed as she seemed to stumble to a dead-end. Her lips pursed nervously as her ears folded slightly, her tail curling around her as her gaze started to drift downward at his silence.

  
She jolted, startled, as she felt his hand on hers once more. He held it up between the both of them as the sun continued to rise, more light blanketing over them as he gave her a determined smile. "Alright. I promise, I'll do as much as I can." He exclaimed, carefully analyzing her expression. Her mouth was agape as it was her turn to stare at him in shock, until the tears started coming. It was everything Alphinaud could do not to startle himself. She smiled as the tears fell. "Thank you, Alphinaud!" She squeezed his hand, hugging him once more. A soft gasp escaped him as he felt her lips on his cheek, receiving a quick kiss from the woman he had been smitten with for quite awhile now. Their faces flushed, but neither of them dared to ruin the moment. They could afford to start their days a little later than usual, _right?_

**Author's Note:**

> [internal screaming]


End file.
